Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I want a musical about memes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
