My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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