The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
