You made me cry and you don't even care
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
