lets start a swedish sibling band together
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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