Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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