yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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