she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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