Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
