is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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