I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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