people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think your dad took our porno
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
