We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
