they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize