So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
