i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
