is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
