Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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