Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
