so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
