Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
