i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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