I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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