don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
