I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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