And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
