If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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