She said her name was "party"
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
