You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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