We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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