Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize