Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Drunk is a universal language darling
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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