Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
