You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
How's work?
Spinning.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
