I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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