I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
