We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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