is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
