I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
