i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
