New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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