sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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