Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
