I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
