so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
