I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
