Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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