This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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