My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
