I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
