oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
