Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize