why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
