; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
