I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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