I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
