I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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