I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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