O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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