lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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