You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
