You're completely useless in the revolution.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize