he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
