I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
