Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize