so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
